


The First Days of Spring

by The Key To Imagine (whiskeywit)



Category: The Beatles
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-10 13:32:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10438773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiskeywit/pseuds/The%20Key%20To%20Imagine
Summary: Title: The First Days of SpringRating: PGWord Count: 687Disclaimer: I do not own the Beatles, or their rights. This is a work of fiction, written for the joy of others, and not meant to harm the persons involved in the story in any way.A/N: I'm sad to see what's happening to JhP. And then I listened a song by Noah and the Whale, and thought; Hey! This applies perfectly to what is going on in my first fandom. Then I realised I was wrong. It doesn't just apply perfectly to what is going on in the fandom: it is what is true for anyone's life.So. Yes. I decided to write a fic about it. The lyrics link to the YouTube video, if you want to hear the song. And the fic is a tribute for John's birthday, even though it is two days late. I'll warn it might not be too coherent, I don't know why but my thoughts are racing and slightly disjointed, and I enjoy writing fics like this, doing the experimental shit. Lol. Comments would be nice, I guess...For I do believe that everyone has one chanceTo fuck up their lives





	

_It's the first day of spring_  
And my life is starting over again  
The trees grow, the river flows  
And its water will wash away my sins  
For I do believe that everyone has one chance  
To fuck up their lives  
But like a cut down tree, I will rise again  
And I'll be bigger and stronger than ever before

For I'm still here hoping that one day you may come back  
For I'm still here hoping that one day you may come back

There's a hope in every new seed  
And every flower that grows upon the earth  
And though I love you, and you know that  
Well I no longer know what that's worth  
But I'll come back to you in a year or so  
And I'll rebuild, be ready to become  
Oh the person, you believed in  
Oh the person, that you used to love

For I'm still here hoping that one day you may come back  
For I'm still here hoping that one day you may come back

  
  
  
  
  
“John,” Paul stares, his warm breath not forming clouds in the air, the first time this year.  
  
John only stares back – he doesn't reply, doesn't even react, only stands there like a statue. Paul tries again.  
  
“John!” He is shouting now, not caring about anyone who might hear him. Paul wants to be heard, after all, heard by John.  
  
Who is still standing there, and still staring.  
  
Paul takes a step forward, which is starting to become more difficult now he is growing older, and he knows it will continue until so many years have passed that he does not have the energy to walk anymore. Then takes another step.  
  
John is shaking his head, and Paul knows it's because he can't touch John, isn't allowed to – it's one of the many impossibilities that used to be possible before.  
  
But that was before _everything_ that had happened.  
  
And yet each year, no matter whether the walking is becoming more difficult, or facing John harder – because he doesn't age anymore, hasn't changed a bit since the first time Paul saw him – which was a while after the last time he'd seen John when he was still alive.  
  
Since spring 1981, however, this has been ritual.  
  
John never speaks. Never has showed any emotion. He only stands there, staring at Paul, with the barrier of air between them, shaking his head when Paul wants to cross it. And somehow, both of them know Paul can not pass the barrier, can't possibly walk through the air between them like he could have before, because... something could happen. Something will.  
  
And even so, without talking and since spring 1981, Paul has the feeling they are slowly fixing things. They are slowly resolving matters that have been bothering them before.  
  
Each time he sees John he feels it. And each time until now he forgot about it afterwards, about the entire meeting, for the rest of the year.   
  
Until the spring of the next year comes: he will see John and remember all the previous times. He will think that they are on their way talking out problems with their eyes – and the last couple of years these feelings have intensified. But the next morning when he would wake up, it was without being able to recall what happened the day before.  
  
Paul is certain he will remember this year.  
  
Because he is doing what he hasn't done before: he is reaching towards John. Even as John is starting to shake his head again, lifting an arm and trying to tell him, _Please, no, Paul, you shouldn't_.  
  
“Let me, John,” Paul whimpers hoarsely, his voice heavy on emotion, pushing forwards through the air that actually feels heavy to his touch, cold and icy, and for the first time he notices John is not breathing. His chest doesn't move, and his shoulders don't hitch the moment Paul's fingers make contact with John's chest – the image of his former best friend and band mate falling apart in the shape of snowflakes that immediately start melting under the pale spring sun.   
  
He wants to cry, but can't bring himself to it.  
  
He knows next year, they'll be able to see each other again, and the year after, and thereafter, until the moment Paul is able to cross the barriers for real and touch John without making him fall apart. He knows that these are just tiny snippets of the future, preparing him for what is to come. For the new start they'll be given.  
  
Because he knows that he and John can't be without each other. Because he once believed and loved John, with his entire heart and soul, and even after all that has passed...   
  
Yes. He _still_ does.  
  
One day the first days of spring will arrive again, and they will laugh and cry - _together_. Because everybody is allowed to fuck up once in life – and then get the chance to put it right again.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The next morning when Paul wakes up, he wakes up happy because he _remembers_ this new prospect, their new future.


End file.
